As we sit down to talk with Stacey Solomon, she blurts out, “I’m probably more gay than anyone who reads the magazine…” We can tell this is going to go very well indeed.
TGUK: What’s the best thing about being Stacey Solomon?
SS: The best thing about being me is getting to dress up and go to amazing things and do the job that I’ve always dreamed about doing.
TGUK: Is this something you’re wearing later? (pointing at a dress even a Disney princess might have trouble pulling off.)
SS: Yeah… (Laughs) It’s my Cinderella dress… Most people go for what is going to look cool and fashionable, because they’re gonna get pictured… I went for like, what is the most glittery, sequin-ey most Disney-ey dress I can get.
TGUK: We’ve seen you’ve written a book and a GBF features prominently… What’s the best thing about a gay best friend?
SS: The best thing about having a gay best friend is the brutal honesty that I can always count on. If I do look like absolute poo, then he’ll be like, “Oh my god babes, don’t go on…”
TGUK: Marry snog and avoid… Elton John, Sam Smith and Boy George
SS: I would marry Elton John, he seems like he’s got it altogether. You know, comfortable, I mean I can’t marry him… He’s already married… I’d quite like to snog Sam Smith… If the opportunity ever arose… I wouldn’t say no.
TGUK: So you’re going to be avoiding Boy George?
SS: Oh that means I’m going to have to avoid Boy George! Can’t there be a best friend option?
TGUK: Do you know what Amyl Nitrate is?
SS: I have no idea…
TGUK: It’s poppers…
SS: Oh yeah, you sniff them and like they make your bum bigger? Is that right?
TGUK: It could do… Have you done it?
SS: No… (laughs) I’ve never done anything like that… I’m such a geek.
TGUK: Okay, so today we asked the internet how gay Stacey Solomon is and it answered, “It has come from reliable sources that she has been know to have the odd girl fling!”
SS: Ohhh! Who’s the reliable source?
SS:(Shrieks with laughter) I’ve never had a girl fling, I’m sorry to say, But I feel like I’m a gay man rather than a gay woman. I feel really camp. I’m like the campest person you’ve ever met trapped inside a woman’s body.
TGUK: Do you know who else said that? Cheryl Baker!
SS: Yeah well… me and her. Same person. (Laughs)
TGUK: So champagne is…
SS: A drink? A drink that tastes like fizzy wee if I’m honest. Yeah it’s not my favourite. For sure.
TGUK: Who is your favourite Kardashian?
SS: Humm, that’s a toughie. I think I like Courtney the best. For some reason… oh no, Chloe.. (manager agrees). Chloe’s got like the most, funnest personality, but I like Courtney’s dress sense. I think she’s got great fashion.
TGUK: So your new single is about being Shy. You don’t come across as Shy…
TGUK: You did once tell an arena of people you were going to poo yourself…
SS: I’m quite happy and open to share my feelings with people, but when it comes to like intimate situations I get really shy.
TGUK: So what’s the gayest thing about you?
a) Losing the X Factor to Joe McElderry
SS: Is that gay?
For the purposes of this interview yes…
b) The Iceland ads.
c) Judging Top Dog Model SS: Top dog model. I got to be the campest presenter ever.
TGUK: Do you have a dog?
SS: I have a Chihuahua Pomeranian. Hashtag Gay.
TGUK: In your house are we most likely to find a shrine to: Peter Andre, Kylie Minogue Or Simon Cowell?
SS: Kylie. I’m obsessed with Dannii, I am in love with her.
TGUK: So you’d use her as a conduit to Dannii?
SS: I mean it’s my only connection to Dannii. She’s genuinely the loveliest lady ever in the whole entire world. She still keeps in contact with me six years later. Whenever I do something she texts, “Well done, I love this” I love her.
TGUK: We do love a bit of Dannii if truth be told…
SS: I’ve got all her albums.
TGUK: We’ve had a lot of sex to those albums… (with ourselves…)
SS: Me too. (laughs)
TGUK: Tell us something wildly camp about Simon Cowell
SS: Everything. (Laughs.) Really. He wears like the tightest trousers, he is so well pruned, he really looks after himself everything about him is camp.
TGUK: Did you get to know anything about his dressing room activities?
SS: No and I’m not upset about that. I’d rather not know.
TGUK: What’s the best way to get back at a cheating lover?
A) Bottle of Red, singing All By Myself out the window
B) Cutting up his silks,
C) Everything he owns in a box to the left?
SS: Ermm. I think I’d be the one singing to the window. I’d probably be making my own rain. Just to add a bit of effect.
TGUK: What do you feel about men in oneies?
SS: I mean each to their own. They’re not attractive on anyone are they? But you know, comfort comes first.
TGUK: What should Cher do next?
SS: Come and see me. I love her. Cher if you’re listening. I’ve been waiting all my life to meet you. If you’re not busy.
TGUK: What would you do if she actually came back to yours?
SS: I don’t know. Probably sing her songs back to her.
TGUK: We’re just imagining Cher’s face.
SS: (laughs) She’d love it!
TGUK: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever read about yourself?
SS: People always write about how I’m feeling. There’s always like a headline: “Stacey’s tired today…” I’m like ‘no I just didn’t wear make up”, “Stacey’s really upset or heart broken today”. I’m like no! Didn’t anyone wanna ask me.
Sometimes people go on and randomly change my Wikipedia page. They add little things. It gets taken off the next day because it has to be confirmed, but it goes up for 24 hours. The other day someone wrote: “Stacey is currently dating Steve O who she thinks is a great person and she’s really excited to have met such a wonderful man…” I was like who took the time to write this nonsense.
Once someone on there wrote my eldest son’s dad was gay. That was on there for 24 hours.
TGUK: That gives you multiple points if that’s true…
SS: It’s not. Maybe I should just roll with it… He may take me to court over it. But as long as I get points.. (Laughs)
TGUK: Finish this gay mantra….
Ladies with an attitude, fellas that were in the mood…
SS: I didn’t hear a word you just said then!
TGUK: (We repeat) Ladies with an attitude, fellas that were in the mood… finish… SS:(Looks blankly at us) Sing it to me…
TGUK: We can’t it’s a rap.
SS: (looks a little lost)
TGUK: Ladies with an attitude, fellas that were in the mood, strike a pose there’s…
TGUK: There’s nothing… SS: To it?
TGUK: Wow. Minus-five.
SS: Sorry I was struggling..
TGUK: Do you know who Madonna is?
SS: Stop it!
TGUK: Will you ever wear a cape?
SS: Not now… She handled that so well.
TGUK: Have you ever fallen on stage?
SS: No. But ratio to the amount of times I’ve been on stage and Madonna’s been on stage…
TGUK: You don’t do too much dancing do you?
SS: Come on now, look at me. I’m not the dancing type am I. I’ve got two left feet and I’m like a stork. I trip over thin air. It’s best for me to sit still. Maybe a little walk to the right.
TGUK: Do you know what Space Docking is?
SS: No… by the smile on your face it does not sound good!
TGUK: We learnt this one from The Overtones! Well it’s when two men “dock” with each other’s penises,with their foreskins…
SS: (Looks astounded at us) Like a little hoody? Well the Jews wouldn’t like it would they! How they gonna do that? That’s not for everyone. That’s why I don’t know!