Rachael McCoy is an award-winning sex and relationship coach who is driven and inspired by helping others to achieve the relationship and sex life they have always wanted. We ask her how to keep the excitement going after the sights and the sounds of your wedding day is a distant memory.

Have at least one night a month where you promise to turn all tech and outside distractions off and just spend time together. In this modern day we all have tablets, phones and other forms of gadgets that distract us away from quality time together.

Aim to take it in turns to surprise the other person with a gift or experience that they really enjoy. A great tip on how to do this is to listen when your partner says things they like. Make a note in your phone and when they are least expecting it, spring it on them. They’ll be so grateful that you remembered.

Erotic massage is a great treat that never gets old. When you know your husband/ wife has been having a stressful time, greet them one day after work with some massage oil, a candle lit (warm) room and work your magic to massage their stress away.

Taking the time to cook your partner a nice meal is a lovely gesture as it shows your spending time and energy to do something thoughtful for them. Actually sitting down and eating together (not in front of the TV) is becoming less common these days too so make sure the table is set and you can both talk about your day/ week or life in general.

Get a red light bulb and swap it with your normal bulb. It completely changes the look and atmosphere in the room, instantly making it feel very seductive and naughty.

Going out with friends may not seem romantic at the time but socialising and ‘representing’ as a couple with friends is a really fun thing to do. In other people’s presence we tend to be more playful. It will give you lots of things to talk about and it’s something you can both enjoy together.

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Some spontaneous oral sex is always a pleasurable treat for a loved one. Catch them when they are nice and clean but not expecting your sexy treat. Make the effort to spend a decent amount of time working their ‘goodies’ with your lips and tongue.

For an incredibly sentimental gift idea, how about putting together a collage of images. It will be even more romantic if you do it for no apparent reason, just to make them happy. There are plenty of apps that do this now or you could print off your favourite picture memories and cut them to fit nicely in a frame. It proudly shows your declaration of love and will definitely show your partner you care.

Doing things separately may seem the opposite of romantic but actually it’s a very healthy thing to do in marriages (and relationships in general). As much as you love each other, living in each other’s pockets can become suffocating and predictable. Doing hobbies separately creates desire and interest into the other person, giving you both some great conversation too.

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Remember to show gratitude. In long term relationships it’s easy to forget to say the little things like ‘Thank you’ ‘I love this about you’ or ‘I’m so grateful for’. This mainly happens because we’ve said it so many times before and we just expect the other person to know. But it is imperative that you always remember to tell your husband/ wife these things regularly. It will make all the difference to your marriage and help ensure that it’s a long and happy one. ∎

by Rachael McCoy

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