Azealia Banks has made a proclamation and she’s telling you to stop using poppers when having anal sex. The entertainer took to Twitter to warn that you might not know the harm you’re doing to do yourself, well, your bum hole anyway.
In an astonishing Tweet, Banks wrote,
“Stop sniffing poppers!! When you sniff poppers there’s is [the] possibility for your pain threshold to be heightened – which means you will not feel yourself being harmed until after the fact. No more poppers and fleets!!! Embrace that boochie baby.
Fair enough.
She then went on to explain that taking a big ole D might take “twenty minutes” and that is OKAY. In fact, if you’re the bottom, she says that you’re the one in control.
“Just be patient with yourself. Sometimes it take 20 minutes to get inside a boochie and THAT IS OKAY. Don’t speed up the process by using poppers to accommodate a forceful top. Say “I HAVE THE BUSSY… I MAKE THE RULES!”
CREDIT: TheGayUK
Her fans were quick to thank her, calling her, “the patron saint of bottoms”, “woke” and one even said that they needed to give Banks an apology tweeting, “she does love the gays”.
Whatever you do, don’t ever, ever ever use shampoo
Lube is the fountain from which great sex happens. Whether it’s for anal sex or just cuddly wanks, never start without it! Here are a few things that aren’t wise to use as a lubricant. Most, will at best, not provide enough wetness and at worst leave you open to STIs or tears or great discomfort during anal sex (for both the top and bottom).
Baby Oil
Baby oil is fine if you’re going bareback, but is a total no-go if you are using condoms. It will, like all lubes, which aren’t water or silicon-based, destroy the condom’s integrity.
You might also find that baby oil is a little too thin for proper lubrication – especially if you’re planning to take something bigger than a finger up your ass.
Plus have you tried getting oil out of bed sheets? It’s a nightmare.
Plus if you’re going to be doing any ass to mouth, the ingredients may be toxic – and if not toxic will taste gross AF.
If you’re having a quicky in the shower don’t forget to take your lube with you. Don’t use shampoo it will sting like buggery. It’s best not to put liquids up your ass that aren’t designed to be up there. This user on Yahoo Answers shared a horror story of serious pain when shampoo got in their urethra.
Same again with the A to Mouth stuff. Look out for poisonous ingredients.
You’ve seen them. We all have. Those massive, dock off dildos in sex shops. But how exactly do you insert one?
Take Gilbert here. He was sent to us by Carvaka Toys (£36.99) and is a whopping 11 inches long and boy is it thick, with a girth of 7.25 inches, it definitely could bring a tear to your eye. So how on earth do you get something like that up your butt?
Just how do you get something this massive inside you?
Well with enough time and patience you can.
1) Lube
We’ve said it before and well say it again – any butt play is going to need to start off with some kind of lube. The anus isn’t self-lubricating so you’re going to need lots of it – and nope, we don’t suggest spit for a huge monster like Gilbert.
It’s not a race… only you are the winner – so take your time and slow down!
Take your time with a big toy. You might not be able to get it all in on the first try and you don’t want to force it, or you could cause yourself some damage. You don’t want to end up with a torn sphincter. Doctor Rick Viney, warns that a torn sphincter will most likely need surgical repair.
If you’re with a partner, don’t feel rushed into going too quickly and let them know how it’s going.
3) Something smaller first
In order to get a monster in you might find it useful to start with something smaller first. Another toy or cock even. Once your butt can accommodate something you can start to size up! Dr Rick suggests, “The sphincter can be gently dilated over a short period of time using devices like a plug or a gradual increase in the number of fingers inserted. Needless to say, there should be a generous use of lubricant to help. This kind of foreplay will limit any damage but it is important to stop if there is any pain and that requires self-control.”
4) Find the G spot
There might be a point that you’ll start to feel an intense feeling – that isn’t just the stretch of your bum. That could well be your G Spot. Legend has it that you can cum without touch your D if the G spot is handled just right! A toy like this is going to go right past that G Spot – as it’s only just a few inches inside you, but using the head of the toy could give you some really great reactions.
5) Condom or condomless?
If you are going to use this toy with your partner you might want to use condoms between each use. This can ward off any dirt that can happen with deeper play but also stop infections from passing from one person to another.
6) Come back to it
If you can’t do it one sitting… take a time out and come back to it.
If on your first attempt you can’t get it all in, then try again a little later. Rome wasn’t built in a day and there’s no rush. Take your time and enjoy experiment with yourself.
7) Tomorrow is gonna be a little uncomfortable
You’ll find that going to the loo the next day might be a bit uncomfortable, especially if this is the first time you’ve inserted something this large. As they say, practice makes perfect, you should find the next time that you could be a little more accommodating.
Before you get started you might want to read up on some advice about making sure you’re clean down there. We asked porn star Kit Wilde to take us through the basics.
When this guy asked “aren’t I supposed to be used to it by now?” these guys shared their advice about bottoming.
FILE PHOTO (BIGSTOCK)
One guy took to Reddit to ask why he was having trouble bottoming. Despite trying “lots of times” he still didn’t feel like he was getting used to it.
So he asked the Internet and well, the Internet responded.
Ease into it with plenty of foreplay. It helps if your top can eat you out for a while, which coaxes the sphincter to relax. Start with a (lubed) finger, then two, before finally taking the guy’s cock. Concentrate on relaxing, as the instinct is going to be to tighten up (especially if you’re relatively new to bottoming). VIA
This old whore has been all the way around the gay block. Things that make it easier. Poppers, beers, weed, coke, crystal, music, mood and mental gymnastics. The real first hurdle to get over is the mental block of something going up through the sphincter and the fear of the abnormal stretch. A relaxed position and a meditative attitude towards releasing control of the muscles is key. Use deep breathing and try to disconnect your focus on your asshole and release control. VIA
I’ve had many c**ks in my time and I still find the experience uncomfortable, as a lot of men prefer to do it doggy style or in the missionary position (which I find extremely painful). But if the guy doesn’t mind about the position, then straddling him, together with poppers and lube, helps me to actually enjoy the experience. VIA
Not every gay man likes to do anal, no biggie. VIA
There are a number of numbing lubes out there for those who might be having problems with bottoming or trying out fisting, but there’s a downside which ultimate could cause more harm than good.
Speaking on the Talk About Gay Sex podcast, gay-sex positive doctor, Evan Goldstein of Bespoke Surgical was warning against the use of numbing gels or lubes – especially if you’re planning to take something huge up your ass.
The problem with the numbing lube is that if you’re doing damage to yourself, you might not feel it.
Speaking with the two hosts Steve Rodriguez and Steve Carpenter, Dr Goldsten revealed, “A lot of people are using numbing lubricants or poppers or other to relax, and the reality of that, is that, it leads to injury because a lot of people don’t feel the trauma happening”.
Host Rodriguez answered, “Really numbing is a negative word, we should never be numbing ourselves of anything, emotionally, physically, because we’re just sort of masking it”.
Carpenter added, “There’s also a lot of nerves which can be pleasure nerves. If you’re numbing that you’re taking that pleasure away”.
Goldstein finished by saying that he was all for poppers or whatever gets you off, but you should only use that stuff when you’ve achieved full openness – rather than using them to get you opened up in the first place – so that you are more aware of what is happening with your body.
There are so many questions that people have, especially when their information comes through the grapevine. So rather than letting myth turn to fact, we’ll answer them for you.
Do gay men need to wear tampons or adult diapers? Where to begin. Do you mean receptive gay men? I.e. Bottoms? Because you know it’s not just gay men who bottom. Ever heard of pegging?
So the question is more likely to be: “Do people who have anal sex need to wear tampons?” And the answer is nope. Not if you’re doing it right. Yes, there is a right and a wrong way of having anal sex. Misinformation and myths like this can lead to the idea that you can tell if a guy is straight or gay by giving him an anal examination. This sometimes happens in countries where homosexuality is illegal.
We’ve all heard the story of the guy that had anal sex so much that he couldn’t control his bowels and so he needed to wear a tampon to stop the poop. Whether this guy actually existed we’ll never know, maybe he did. But guys who are having regular receptive sex shouldn’t have any issues in controlling their bodily functions.
What is regular anal sex?
So what is “regular anal sex”, well it’s important to know two things about up-the-butt sex. Time and Lube are your friends. In fact, they’re best buds.
One of the most important muscles is your external sphincter. It like the main ring. It’s a powerful muscle that stops stuff from getting out (and in) but like any muscle, it can be damaged (and even better strengthened).
This and the lining of the rectum are delicate and if you’re too rough or haven’t prepared yourself properly, well you can cause yourself damage, which is why it’s important to communicate how you’re feeling with your “top”.
Doctor Rick Viney, a consultant urological surgeon at BMI The Priory and BMI Edgbaston hospitals in Birmingham, told us that “Rapidly and forcefully overstretching the anus can tear the anal sphincter which can result in the need for surgical repair. The sphincter can be gently dilated over a short period of time using devices like a plug or a gradual increase in the number of fingers inserted.”
The butt, will after dilation return to its normal size shortly after sex. If you’ve done something more extreme, like fisting, it may take a longer time to go back to normal.
But what if you have lots and lots of anal sex.
Well, regularly having anal sex isn’t really enough for you to need you to wear a tampon. Naturally, if you’re having a lot of sex, you might find your hole does become looser, but you shouldn’t lose control altogether.
If you do find yourself or feel that you’ve become looser, there are exercises that can help you retain a tight ring. The NHS recommends a series of exercises. In one they suggest engaging your muscles like you are trying to stop a fart. They write,
“Try squeezing and lifting that muscle as tightly as you can, as if you are worried that you are about to leak. Your buttocks, tummy and legs should not move much at all. You should be aware of the skin around the back passage tightening and being pulled up and away from the chair. Really try to feel this. You are now exercising your anal sphincter”.
There’s a way of holding that feeling for as long as you can. Like imaging that your sphincter muscle is a lift and that you’re taking it to the fourth floor and holding it while the passengers get out and then back down again.
If you can’t go to the fourth, try the 2nd!
You get the idea.
The best thing about exercising these muscles is that you don’t need an expensive gym membership or even proper work out clothes. You can do them in your car at the traffic lights or on your way to work on the train. No one will know. Unless you turn to your fellow passenger and tell them. We suggest you don’t do this. It might freak them the F out.
Pooping is a fact of life when you’re dealing with the butt and anal sex. Yep, for the most part, the butt is where waste leaves your body – and to that end, nothing really to be ashamed about. We all do it.
Don’t worry it’s not the end of the world. There are some options for you. You can both jump in the shower and have a wash down, or if your partner is up for it, flip roles!
2) “If neither one can get by with a little poo then neither one should be having anal in the first place. Shit happens. It’s a butt – what’d you expect?” (VIA)
3) “Usually, I think that ends anal for the night. Hop in the shower, rinse off, resume oral/body contact/making out. I’ve never gone back to anal after an incident lol but that’s nbd”. (VIA)
4) “Clean up and proceed or flip roles if they happen to be clean. It’s really only a problem if you don’t have a place to wash up around.” (VIA)
5) “Take it to the shower, with silicone lube in hand. Ta-da.” (VIA)
6) “It’s an occupational hazard, like catching a pube when you’re giving a blowjob. Grow up, and towel off, I guess? Humanity is repulsive if you look at it with any seriousness. I find accepting that goes a long way.” (VIA)
7) “It’s the ass’ way of communicating. It says “I want more”” (VIA)
8) “Yeah, have to say I laugh at the tops who get all squeamish about guys ‘cleaning’ beforehand. You are putting your penis into an asshole. It’s where poop comes from”. (VIA)
9) “It’s just literally the male equivalent to a queef. If you’re pounding air into something it’s going to release. The bottom doesn’t even usually know it’s going to happen”. (VIA)
In fact, less than 1200 people are diagnosed with anal cancer in the UK every year.
Apparently what you need to look out for is for the transmission of HPV, the virus responsible for genital warts. “The virus responsible for genital warts (HPV) can ultimately lead to the development of a type of anal, penile, cervical and oral cancers called squamous cancer, Rick warns.
HPV is the name for a group of viruses that affect the skin and moist membranes lining the body such as the cervix, anus, mouth and throat. HPV infections are highly contagious when transmitted sexually.
Some strains of the HPV virus can cause genital warts, and cancers of the anus, penis, mouth and throat. In some cases, it can also cause head and neck cancer.
What else can cause anal cancer? Well the NHS website suggests that smoking can be a cause and having a weakened immune system, for example, if you have HIV could also be a cause. For women, cancer history also plays a part. If you’ve had cervical, vaginal or vulval cancer could be cause for concern.
What are the symptoms of anal cancer?
Symptoms for anal cancer are very similar to other, less serious conditions. If you’re worried about your bottom’s health, go see a doctor.
Anal cancer can be symptomless and the symptoms that can occur can be similar to less serious conditions like piles and anal fissures.
According to the NHS website, these include: bleeding from the anus, an itchy or painful bottom, small lumps around the anus, a mucus discharge or loss of bowel control.
If you have any concerns, as always, we suggest you consult your doctor.
Anal fissures are caused by trauma or injury to the anal canal. This can be through trying to pass large poops or particularly vigorous anal sex. The fissure can cause bleeds, especially when you poop. It’s very uncomfortable. Fissures can usually heal on their own, however, if a fissure lasts longer than six weeks, medicine or surgery may be needed. However, it’s been discovered that injecting botulinum toxin type A (Botox) directly into the sphincter will paralyse it temporarily, which will reduce pain and encourage healing.
Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.
It’s a thing and for the brave who undertake this procedure can expect results which make their buttholes look years younger than they actually are, by helping the muscles relax, but come on, who really who wants loosening up down there?
So what does Anal Botox do?
Just like facial Botox, muscles are frozen and relaxed – and effectively stop working – or have their function greatly reduced for a period of time, usually six months.
Some guys, who have had it, say that their holes look 20 years younger – but aren’t a-holes meant to look like a pair of pursed lips of a 40-a-day-Coronation-Street-extra?
But wait, there is a medical reason for injecting botulinum into your arsehole.
It can also be used to treat an anal fissure. Anal fissures are caused by trauma or injury to the anal canal. The fissure can cause bleeds, especially when you poop. It’s very uncomfortable. Fissures can usually heal on their own, however, if a fissure lasts longer than six weeks medicine or surgery may be needed. However, it’s been discovered that injecting botulinum toxin type A (Botox) directly into the sphincter will paralyse it temporarily, which will reduce pain and encourage healing.
Anal botox isn’t just for aesthetic reasons. It can be used in the treatment of anal fissures.
And what of the incontinence?
We asked Doctor Rick Viney consultant urological surgeon at BMI The Priory and BMI Edgbaston hospitals in Birmingham, who told us that anal botox does indeed relax and loosen the sphincter, think Martini’s and a smooth chat up line for your butthole but using a needle and a medical profession on the other end of it.
He adds, “It’s not unsafe but if the dose is a little strong you can expect some faecal incontinence. It’s not permanent and will wear off after 4 to 9 months”.
However, the results aren’t immediate, Viney reveals,”Remember it takes a week or two to work so take things easy straight after treatment”.
Oh, and you may not be able to control your farts either.
One of the major concerns for gay men who have had prostate surgery to remove the prostate gland is whether they can ever bottom again.
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The prostate is often referred to as the G Spot for men, or indeed, trans women. It has tonnes of nerve endings and when manipulated, it can cause huge amounts of pleasure for the recipient. Due to its placement in the body, the only way to access the prostate is either through fingering, anal sex or sounding.
What and where is the prostate?
The Prostate is a satsuma sized gland, located between the penis and bladder. Its function is to help in the production of semen. It produces the white fluid which is mixed with sperm created in the testicles.
What happens when the prostate is removed?
Removing the prostate is an operation which will be done under general anaesthetic, and it’s called a prostatectomy. This is where the entire or part of the prostate gland is removed. Usually due to cancer, but it might be removed for other reasons.
The operation does carry risks, including erectile dysfunction, urinary incontinence and loss of ejaculation, however, it doesn’t mean that sex for gay men has to stop.
In order to check the health of your prostate, you might receive a rectal examination.
Can you have gay sex after prostate surgery?
One reader recently asked whether it was safe for him to bottom again after surgery. We asked Doctor Rick Viney, a consultant urological surgeon at BMI The Priory and BMI Edgbaston hospitals in Birmingham, whether it was possible to bottom, or be the receptive partner in anal sex after a prostatectomy, he told us,
“With plenty of lube and going very gently at first there should be no problems.
“Now the prostate has gone the sensations may be diminished.
“Probably best done on an empty bladder as there may be a risk of some urinary incontinence unless you are ok with that – you might want to warn a potential partner of this possibility, beforehand.”
In our podcast with Prostate Cancer survivor Martin Wells he told us, depending on your treatment, you could lose your ability to get a self-maintained erection, but said, that even though he couldn’t have sex in the same way as he had before his treatment, he learned a brand new way of being intimate with his partner. He now enjoys a more tantric approach to sex.
As always, it’s always best to ask your own physician or GP after surgery to see if there might be any other complications.
