THEGAYUK

Tag: Dating Apps

All the latest breaking news on dating apps. Browse The THEGAYUK’s complete collection of features and commentary on dating apps and the LGBT+ community.

  • So much emoji diversity is coming your way

    So much emoji diversity is coming your way

    Interracial couples are now going to get the inclusion they deserve.

    smartphones
    This autumn, interracial couples will be included in an emoji update which sees all different types of races of couples included, and will be available on all smartphones. The new emojis feature same-sex couples as well as opposite couples and has 12 different permutations.

    Behind this great news is one of the world’s biggest dating apps, Tinder, which told THEGAYUK, “Tinder advocates for the freedom of people to live how they want to live and love who they want to love,” said Jenny Campbell, CMO, Tinder.

    “The success of our Interracial Couple Emoji campaign shows how powerful the voices are of the more than 50,000 people who joined our cause by signing our petition; together, we effected change and ensured visual representation for interracial couples around the world. I couldn’t be more proud of this incredibly positive outcome.”

     

  • Here’s the day of the week and month you’re likely to download a new dating app

    Here’s the day of the week and month you’re likely to download a new dating app

    For many, downloading a hook up / dating app is the best and most successful way of finding love. We’ve pinpointed which day you’re most likely to download a new app to find love

    which was the horniest day in 2018
    CREDIT: ©-Maridav-Depositphotos

    Thanks to our analytics we’ve managed to pinpoint the day of the week which we received the most traffic for guys looking to download new dating apps.

    Winter blues or Summer horn?

    Overall we found that people searched our dating app review page on Sunday afternoons, with searches peaking throughout the months of June and July.

    That said, 28th January 2018 was apparently the horniest or loneliest day of the year (depending on how you look at it) with scores of people looking for new dating apps to try out.

    best gay chat sites
    Pexels / Pixabay

    Most people landed on our gay dating app review page at 8 PM in the evening, followed by another influx at around 10 PM in the evening.

    Interestingly every Sunday THEGAYUK.com sees a surge for dating app reviews or news. Searches for our gay app review page peaked in the Summer (June) but the lowest search was the last weeks of 2018 in December.

    However, searches for a more traditional gay chat site, a non-app site, remained pretty constant throughout the year, with June and July being the peak months but with an usual increase in searches in October.

    Do people actually find love on apps?

    We recently asked our readers about whether they’ve ever found love on a dating app. Only 36 percent of those who answered the poll, had found love and were still together from meeting on an app, with another 10 percent saying they had found love, but it didn’t last.

    The majority found that apps were only really good for hookups or one night stands.

    Don’t forget you can sign up to our very own social network and start chatting with guys across the UK.

    YOUR SUPPORT MEANS EVERYTHING

    Help us deliver unique, usable and reliable journalism that supports the gay, bisexual and curious community of the United Kingdom. Can you help protect LGBT+ media? Publishers like us have come under severe threat by the likes of Google and Facebook. The problem is that advertisers are choosing to put their money with them, rather than with niche publishers like us. Our goal is to eliminate banner ads altogether on site and we can do that if you could pledge us a tiny amount each month.

    We’re asking our readers to pledge just £1 per month, more if you’re feeling swanky. You can stop payment at any time.

    It’s quick and easy to sign up and you’ll only have to do it once.

    Click to start the journey and support THEGAYUK!

  • What data has been compromised by the Jack’d bug?

    What data has been compromised by the Jack’d bug?

    According to sources, the gay dating and hook up app, Jack’d has got a bug which is allowing people to access private data. Here’s what is at risk.

    What data has been stolen on JAck'd
    Pexels / Pixabay

    As the Register announced on Tuesday, anybody with an internet browser can get access to Jack’d’s user’s photographs, regardless of whether they are set to private or whether they have been shared or not.

    The app, which has been downloaded over 100,000 times and boasts hundreds of thousands of users, gives gay and bi men a chance to talk each other up, trade private and open pics, and orchestrate meetings.

    “Known about the security concerns for several months”

    The Register says that the app’s creators have known about the security concerns for several months.

    There is no requirement for users looking to get access to private data to prove their right to access or even agree to accept the application’s terms of use.

    Jack’d says the application has five million customers in nations around the globe.

    Mark Girolamo, chief executive of Jack’d parent company Online Buddies said, “Our tech team is aware of the photo vulnerability and has already programmed the changes for this fix.

    “They will deploy the fix this Thursday, February 7.”

    Users at risk

    when will the jack'd bug fix be delivered
    rawpixel / Pixabay

    Users who may not be out to their families or co-workers chance having their sexuality uncovered, while the bug puts users in danger of torment or blackmail by potential abusers.

    Delete data until the fix

    San Francisco-based reporter Sean Nichols writes: “The app should place strict access restrictions on which images should be viewable so that if one user allows another user to see a [picture], only the receiver should be allowed to see it.”

    Nichols recommends users may want to remove their private photos until the fix has been implemented.

    YOUR SUPPORT MEANS EVERYTHING

    Help us deliver unique, usable and reliable journalism that supports the gay, bisexual and curious community of the United Kingdom. Can you help protect LGBT+ media? Publishers like us have come under severe threat by the likes of Google and Facebook. The problem is that advertisers are choosing to put their money with them, rather than with niche publishers like us. Our goal is to eliminate banner ads altogether on site and we can do that if you could pledge us a tiny amount each month.

    We’re asking our readers to pledge just £1 per month, more if you’re feeling swanky. You can stop payment at any time.

    It’s quick and easy to sign up and you’ll only have to do it once.

    Click to start the journey and support THEGAYUK!

  • Here are the best rated gay dating apps for Android

    If you’re looking for a dating app for gay, bi or curious men on Android, then here’s the best, according to Android users.

    Best gay dating apps on Android

    Where do you start when looking for a dating app. There are so many options, especially at the Google Play store. The best way to find the best app is to see what the app’s users are actually saying about it, but it’s a faff to search out the top 10, so we’ve dug around to find out what people about gay dating apps.

    Don’t always assume that the biggest brands in gay hook ups are the best. Probably the most famous, Grindr, isn’t rated highly by its users – in fact, it ends well below the top 10 list. It does, however, have over a quarter of a million ratings, it dwarfs all the other apps.

    We’ve compiled this rank list of the best-rated apps on the Google store for the Android operating system.

    #1 Surge

    Number of ratings: 47,359

    Average star rating: 4.5

    App description: Surge is the most convenient way to meet gay guys nearby.

    #2 Gay Dating & Gay Chat

    Number of ratings: 50,147

    Average star rating: 4.5

    App description: Do you want to meet new gay people? It’s super simple with DISCO – the brand new chat and dating app for guys like you. We have over 20 million members and more than 100,000 join our dating network every day. With DISCO, it’s easy to spot a hot guy! We celebrate diversity and welcome all gay, bi, and transgender people (LGBTQ) to join the party. DISCOver your Love! Join the Party!

    #3 Grizzly

    Number of ratings: 13,783

    Average star rating: 4.5

    App description: Tired of hunting GUYS? We are very proud to present to you, Grizzly Gay Men App, the hottest gay dating app ever made! Express your feelings through your finger tip! Get ready to find your Leonard & Larry or your Rick and Drew in your own Bear City! Get a chance to meet new friends, groups, and partners, in the LGBT community!

    #4 Moovz

    Number of ratings: 57,885

    Average star rating: 4.4

    App description: Get connected to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer people worldwide on Moovz – The only Social Network of the LGBTQ Community. Millions of LGBT people connect, interact and share content daily. Find out what you’re missing!

    #5 Guyz

    Number of ratings: 41,445

    Average star rating: 4.4

    App description: Used by over 1,000,000 users all around the world – GUYZ is the best, hottest and fastest growing gay dating app out there.

    #6 Scruff

    Number of ratings: 79,369

    Average star rating: 4.3

    App description: SCRUFF is the top-rated*, safest and most reliable social app for gay, bi, trans and queer guys to connect.

    #7 Blued

    Number of ratings: 84,337

    Average star rating: 4.2

    App description: Blued is a free & private gay social app with more than 30 million users globally. Blued allows you to meet cute guys from around the world or right next door. Go get a chance to meet new friends, join groups, or find life partners in this loving gay community.

    #8 Romeo

    Number of ratings: 98,566

    Average star rating: 4.1

    App description: Join the world’s most exciting gay social network. With more free options than any other gay dating app, ROMEO is the best way to meet new people and have meaningful or more casual encounters. Get the free ROMEO App now and chat with lots of gay guys, nearby and worldwide. Create your profile and start chatting and video calling within minutes!

    #9 Growrl

    Number of ratings: 31,363

    Average star rating: 4.1

    App description: What’s a Bear? A Bear is a masculine gay man who belongs to a very inclusive part of the gay community. Some are have hairy, some are muscular, and some are heavy-set. …And some are none of those things. Being a bear is about being yourself, and being accepted for it, and we are all amazing no matter how we are labeled.

    #10 Hornet

    Number of ratings: 169,227

    Average star rating: 4.0

    App description: Hornet makes it fun and easy for gay, bi, and curious guys to connect with each other. Find great guys to keep in touch with, in this FREE gay app that is beyond dating!

    #11 Jack’d

    Number of ratings: 110,373

    Average star rating: 4.0

    App description: Jack’d is the most diverse and authentic app for gay, bi and curious guys to connect, chat, share, and meet. We all have different body types, opinions and preferences, and on Jack’d – our differences make us stronger because you’re more than a headless torso!

     

    Want to see what THEGAYUK.com thinks are some of the best gay dating apps? Columnist Scott Sammons downloaded 10 to find out which was the best. Here’s what he thought.

  • These are the ways you can get a date, when you’re just too darn busy

    These are the ways you can get a date, when you’re just too darn busy

    5 ways to date when you’re too busy for love.

    using your mobile phone too much
    CREDIT: bigstock-kalim

    Using dating apps takes up a lot of time and effort, with the average user spending around ten hours a week swiping! There are so many lost hours making small talk with screens and sending dead end messages to strangers, just to get nothing in response.

    The gay dating scene is a minefield and finding a man can be difficult enough, especially for people who work long hours and lead busy lifestyles. Whether you’re just looking for a bit of fun or after a bit of romance there is not enough time for all of this runaround!

    Tech guru Kal Kingsley believes that technology has exploded the dating industry and now there is a way to date for everyone – no matter how unconventional. Here are their top ways to date when you’re too busy for love.

    Speed Dating

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    The clues in the name – speed. There are so many organised speed dating events across the country, that are gay and bispecific. The traditional format of these evenings allows you to work your away the room have conversations with other daters. Each round is usually only 1-2 minutes so you don’t need to extend the small talk if you’re not interested. It’s like a series of mini first dates all in one night!

    Hook-up apps

    CREDIT: Ryazan / BIGSTOCK

    This one’s for the more casual daters. Instead of having to sift through the romantic hopefuls on normal dating apps like Tinder, there are specific ones that cater for those after some no-strings-attached fun. For example, although the likes of Grindr and Hornet market themselves at ‘dating’ apps, they are generally used in the community as hook-up platforms.

    Group Dates

    keeping company, social gathering,
    CREDIT: bigstock / Rawpixel.com

    Similar to speed dating, group dates bring your date to you. Meeting someone face to face cuts out the back and forth messaging so it’s much quicker to know if you like someone or not. Companies such as ‘My Friend Charlie’ are launching LGBT dates where they organise unusual events such as a ghost hunt or a chocolate making class, – you choose an event, not a profile! This lets you meet and chat to like-minded people that you already know have similar interests to you.

    Hire an escort

    (C) BIGSTOCK / DEPOSITPHOTOS

    Escorting isn’t the seedy, underground arrangement that it used to be. If you have a bit of disposable money, it’s a great way to get a bit of convenient companionship. On apps such as Smooci, you can choose an escort to take on a date or meet up with and they will instantly respond. It’s a quick and easy of meeting someone, without having to put the groundwork in.

    Adult parties

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    This is probably one of the quickest and easiest ways of having a bit of fun if you’re too busy for strings. There are many adult parties that cater to everyone, whether you want a swinger’s event or a quick hook-up in the gay sauna. Just remember to always play safe.

     

    *The app Smooci, mentioned in this post was created by the author 

  • 50+ dating terms every gay guy needs to know

    50+ dating terms every gay guy needs to know

    You’re checking out his dating profile and suddenly you come across an acronym you’ve not heard before… we’re here to help you navigate the shorthand world of gay hookups.

    420

    This is all about pot and the smoking thereof. This guy is probably into smoking weed. So if you see someone who has 420 written in their profile this is what it means!

    Alevels

    A-Levels. This all about anal sex… and the willingness to do it. Don

    Age Play

    Age Play is about the guys who like to age up or age down. Guys who take part in age play might like to wear nappies/diapers – or go the other extreme and use Zimmer frames

    ASL

    Before pictures and GPS on apps, it was common to start a chat conversation with ASL, which means Age, Sex Location. Thanks to smartphones and gay dating apps, location and sex are pretty much-taken care of, however, you might still need to ask his age, if that kind of thing is important to you.

    ATM

    Ass to mouth. Yep, penis in butt and then in your mouth. Nothing to do with cash machines.

    BTM / BOTTOM

    You might be asked whether you’re a top or Bottom. “Bottoms” or “Vers bottoms” are guys who generally take or receive the D. They are the ones who get penetrated. Tops or Vers Tops are the ones who do the penetrating. Vers are those guys who like it both ways. Guys who don’t like penetrative sex are called “sides”.

    BDSM

    BDSM is the broader term for bondage, dominance, discipline, submission, sadism and masochism. He likes whips, chains and all sorts of sub and dom play.

    BB / Bareback

    This is anal sex without the use of condoms. Previously Bareback / BB sex was seen as extremely risky, however, due to the invention and availability of PrEP, bareback sex is safer from an HIV point of view, however, BB sex can lead to other sexually transmitted diseases, such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis.

    BBC

    Potentially offensive, so use with caution, but it derives from porn which has black men with big cocks.

    Bear

    Bears are guys who are generally thicker and hairier – a bit like a bear. There’s a whole community and they even have their own flag. How well do you know your pride flags? Take our quiz here.

    Bondage

    Part of the BDSM world. This is about being tied up – and not in an officey, phone-call type of “tied up”. Actual ropes or straps can be used – or failing that his tie or even electric cords. It’s all good.

    Boy Next Door, BND

    BNDs are younger guys who are a typical build, height and looks. They may be geeky or they may be jocky. Check out their pictures for more details.

    BS

    As in not into bullshit.

    Candle Play

    Some guys love the feel of candle wax dripping on their nipples/chest/stomach/cock.

    CBT

    Cock and Ball Torture. Some guys are into having their junk tortured and there’s a whole host of toys out there to help you out if that is your thing. They could include chastity devices, which makes it impossible to touch your D or even ejaculate.

    Chemsex

    Chemsex is where drugs and sex come together, which isn’t always a good idea, especially as some drugs can make a person take risks that they wouldn’t normally take sober.

    Cut / Uncut

    Cut is for those guys who don’t have a foreskin, whilst uncut is for guys who are still intact. Across Europe, most guys are still intact, whereas in North America many guys are circumcised. Of course, some religious people are circumcised such as Jewish and Muslim men.

    Chastity

    Chastity is abstaining from sex and sexual contact.

    Daddy

    Where to start, some guys love the daddy mantle some guys HATE IT, so be careful before you ascribe “Daddy” to someone. Generally, guys over the age of 40 could be considered “daddies”.

    Discreet

    This guy might not be out or maybe in a relationship with another person so therefore discretion is everything to him. Usually you’ll see something like “DL” in his profile.

    Dirty

    This guy goes beyond the dirty mind. He likes actual dirt, like urine or poop. This isn’t for everyone. Guys who like watersports might use WS to indicate their preference on dating apps.

    Dom / Dominant

    This doesn’t have to mean topping during anal sex, a bottom can be dominant too. It means that this guy is one who likes to take charge.

    DP

    Double penetration. Yes, that’s two cocks up your bum. Not for the faint-hearted and probably only for someone who is experienced. He’ll probably need quite a bit of prep time.

    Edging

    Edging is where you play with your dick but then stop just before you bust a load. Some guys can do this for hours. Ultimately leaves you very horny – and potentially giving you a crazy big money shot.

    E play/ Stim / Electrical Play

    Plugin and plug up. This guy likes electrocution, but don’t be licking any plug sockets. This will be low-voltage play.

    FF

    This is all about Fisting. Either just run of mill fisting or fist fucking. You can let guys know whether you’re active (the one doing the fisting) or passive (the one being fisted).

    Flogging

    Whips do it for this guy. He likes to be flogged – which means whipped.

    FWB

    Friends with benefits. It’s when you don’t go the whole hog and become boyfriends, but buddies who suck each other off… now and then… or all the time.

    Hanky Code

    Back in the olden days, guys used to display their sexual preference with hankies hanging out the back of their pockets. There was an entire colour-coded system which let people know what you were into, from Vanilla to full-on fisting. Check out the list here.

    HMU

    This simply means, Hit Me Up – as in give him a call or a message.

    HNH.

    The first H stands for Horny, the second stands for High – so this is probably a guy who likes to have sex whilst high on pot.

    GGG

    Good Giving and Game. This is for sexually evolved guys who know that being a good lay means that everyone is happy.

    GPS

    Some apps use GPS to display your location and how far other guys are from you. Grindr became known as the first gay dating app which successfully used GPS locating, bringing local guy after local guy to your yard. Modern technology huh!

    JO

    Means Jerk off, not a typical British English way of saying, wanking or masturbation – mutual or otherwise.

    Limits

    Do you know yours? This about knowing what your sexual limits are and communicating them to your potential partner.

    MMF

    Basically a bisexual threesome, with two guys and one gal.

    Neg on PrEP

    This means that since his last test, this guy is HIV negative and is on PrEP meaning that you can have bareback sex with a greatly reduced risk of contracting HIV.

    NSA

    No strings attached, not the National Security Agency.

    Poz / Positive and undetectable

    This guy is letting you know that he has HIV but is on anti-HIV medication. People living with HIV who are on treatment for 6 months and with an undetectable viral load can’t pass on HIV to an unprotected partner.

    Otter

    A guy who is hairy, but slimmer than a bear or a cub. He may have the appearance of an otter when wet… apparently.

    S&M also written S/M 

    Sadomasochism This guy gets pleasure from giving or receiving pain or humiliation.

    PnP

    This stands for Party and Play – generally speaking drugs play a part in this guy’s sexual activity. Sometimes also referred to as chemsex. Make sure you keep safe during PnP often drugs can make people take risks with their sexual health, due to lowered inhibitions.

    Piss

    This guy is into watersports and not the sort that you can do on the ocean. He’ll be into guys pissing on him or him pissing on you. Either way, if you’re not into the urine thing, you might want to make this known at the start. This is part of the “dirty” community who like to play with body fluids that aren’t salvia or cum.

    S2R

    Send to receive. He’s basically saying you got send some picture his way if you want some of his. Could be face, cock or ass pics. You might need to be specific.

    Side

    Guys who don’t like or do anal sex are sometimes referred to as “sides“. If he has this in his profile he probably doesn’t identify as a top or a bottom.

    Sub / Submissive

    This doesn’t have to mean bottoming or anything to do with penetrative sex, it’s guys who like to be dominated during sex.

    Switch

    A Switch is one who likes both being dom and sub and switching it up.

    SSC

    Safe, Sane and Consensual

    Slave / Master

    This guy is looking for you to fill a role, the slave (submissive) or the master (dominant). Which will you go you for?

    Safeword

    When things are getting a bit freaky in the bedroom it’s good to know there’s a “safe word” that one of you can use to make sure whatever is happening comes to a full stop.

    Top

    This is the guy who does the penetrating, i.e. puts his dick in the other guy’s butt. Guys who don’t like being tops or bottoms are called “sides”. They’re into BJs (blow jobs), mutual masturbation and frottage (rubbing yourself against others).

    Twink

    This is a type of guy defined by his lack of body and facial hair, slim body and youthful appearance – think Bel Ami porn boys and that’s pretty much a Twink.

    UEqualsU

    Undetectable Equals Untransferable. It means that a guy with HIV who has an undetectable viral load cannot transfer the HIV virus to you. Being undetectable happens when someone is managing their HIV with antiretroviral drugs.

    Vers

    A vers guy is a versatile guy, this means that he likes anal sex both ways, topping and bottoming. Although he might have an overall preference, like Ver Top or Ver Bottom. It’s pretty self-explanatory.

    WS / Watersports

    This guy is into pissing on you or having you piss on him. This is part of the “dirty” community who like to play with body fluids that aren’t salvia or cum.

    Looking for a new gay chat site to join? Check out our very own social network for gay and bi guys just like you

    Have we missed any out? Let us know in the comments below.

    ** This article has been amended from its original to update information on PrEP. 

  • Dating As A Gay Muslim: No fats? No Femmes? No Asians?

    Dating As A Gay Muslim: No fats? No Femmes? No Asians?

    Being a gay Muslim of South-Asian descent I often find some sort of prejudice within the gay community when it comes to dating and hooking up.

    rawpixel / Pixabay

    I noticed it especially when I started using the apps. The apps are great, you can be as specific as you want and really filter down to find what you are looking for. There are also a number of different apps to cater for specific gay communities and labels. They are also a great way of realising how picky you can be when it comes to what you want. A lot of people are open-minded and others are very upfront with their requirements.

    After getting past my initial bombardment of unsolicited photos, I started looking through profiles until I found someone I was interested in. He looked great and the start of his profile was funny. But that’s when I saw it. He specifically stated he didn’t want Asians, wanted the guy to be smooth and wanted him to be slim. All of the things I am not in other words. I was hurt in some way from reading this, but quickly shrugged it off and said to myself that the views of one person shouldn’t make me feel bad. I moved on to the next guy, whose profile was blank, and messaged him. He replied that he wasn’t looking for Asians as well. I took this in one of two ways. He was genuinely not looking for Asians, or using it as an excuse to end the conversation early. Again I shrugged it off, I can’t change my ethnicity so why bother myself with people who are being prejudiced against me. I did find a lot of people who were interested and we had some conversation that either led to something or didn’t. Such is the nature of the apps I found.

    But it got me thinking, is it prejudice or racism. I mean we all have our types, myself included, but I don’t feel the need to implicitly tell people that I don’t want a specific skin colour. I am open-minded, and my main criterion is someone with kind eyes. It sounds funny, but I am drawn to eyes and how they can convey a lot about people. I understand that these guys who put their requirements are doing so to ward off any unwanted attention, and to help them find what they are looking for faster. But is that really the case? I tested this out and put my requirements based on my current mood, and I found a handful of matches. When I saw these select few it made me realise that I didn’t particularly feel drawn to any of them. I went back to my more open requirements and felt instantly better. But that is just how I am, these people who don’t want fats, femmes or Asians know what they want, and that is their choice. It would be easy for me to judge them, but then again should they not be allowed to seek what they want?

    One interaction that really threw me off was when a guy messaged me saying he doesn’t usually go for Asians, but I would be an exception. That is when I genuinely got angry at the comment he made. It implied that I am acceptable even though I am Asian, and that he deems me worthy of his attention. I rightly put him down for that comment and ended the conversation there. He blocked me, which was to be expected, but had he not I would have blocked him and his pointed views out of my life anyway. Other interactions have had people ask me where I was born, as they don’t want people who weren’t born in the UK or don’t speak English without an accent. Again, I have no time for these people. They are trying to cover up their prejudice towards immigrants by making it out that they are just having a normal conversation.

    This isn’t to say I haven’t found people from the apps, as I have had a number of dates. What it is saying is that people shouldn’t feel bad if they find prejudice within the apps. They should ask themselves if they would want to be with someone like that, and if they do then that is fine. But you never know what you might find when you venture out of your preferences. I know I have been surprised and learned more about myself when I have ventured out. So for any profile out there that states ‘no Asians,’ I’m sorry but you are missing out. We are amazing.

  • You can now find out who blocked you on Grindr

    This is not going to be pretty.

    There’s now away to find out who blocked you on grindr

    You can find out who blocked you (the bastards) on one of the world’s biggest gay dating apps. The program is called C*ckBlocked, created by a user, Trever Faden. You can find it here.

    It’s free to access online and all you have to do is put in your Grindr username and password.

    When someone blocks you that data is stored by both users – the blockee and the blocker (bastard).

    ALSO READ: 5 Dating App Etiquettes You Must Do

    ALSO READ: The 10 Most Popular Gay Dating Apps on Android

    Speaking to Queerty, Trever offered this security and data advice:

    “Luckily, someone finding out that you blocked them on Grindr isn’t a huge security vulnerability, as much as it is an awkward conversation waiting to happen. That said, when you block someone on Grindr, you do assume that information will stay somewhat private.

    “Sometimes that is unfortunately just an assumption, as we’ve seen with data breaches in the past at companies like Ashley Madison.

    “All of this data is safe, until it’s not, which, in my opinion, just means that if you really want to keep a secret–don’t send it through the internet.”

    So if you’re finding that you’ve been blocked by a bunch of people maybe these are the mistake you’re mistaking.

  • Here’s the 12 mistakes you’re probably making on your dating profile

    Here’s the 12 mistakes you’re probably making on your dating profile

    Not getting the responses you want from your dating profile perhaps there’s something you’re doing wrong. We asked our readers what were the most common mistakes they found on a guy’s profiles on dating sites and hook up apps.

    1) Too Much, Too Soon.

    Nothing says, “I’m serious about dating and maybe actually finding love online” than a picture of you, a sling and four of your most intimate friends using a power tool you could dig up pavements with. A bit of showmanship never hurt anyone, but laying it all out like it’s on a butcher’s block doesn’t scream “I’m all about the exclusivity” does it?

    2) No Fats, Femmes Or Rice.

    I mean just who do you think you are? Say what you like in a man, not what you don’t. Start the conversation positive rather than flood your online space with negativity. Plus don’t be a racist, fatist, internalised homophobic douche.

    3) The Game Stops Here.

    Don’t play endless games, it’s no longer the 90s. Throw away the dating self-help books that tell you, a) not to call after 6 pm, b) not to accept dates the day before, and c) to only ever show him the bedroom after the wedding day. Not only is it a massive waste of your time but let’s be honest it’s time when you could actually be jumping each other’s bones. Playing games is manipulative and no one is looking for a nasty lover, unless of course, you’re Janet Jackson.

    4) Be Yourself.

    Honesty is the best policy. Shane Greene from dating site AllMale says, “Do not try to be something you’re not, just be yourself. The possibility of finding a match online leads some men to detach from what makes them who they are offline. Many men new to online dating “beef up” their profiles with details that aren’t true hoping to somehow be better than they already are naturally.”

    This may seem like a cool idea but these men quickly realise they will be attracting men who are interested in their online persona and not who they really are. You want someone who is interested in what you actually are. That requires you to be honest and accurate about yourself from the very start.”

    5) I just can’t deal…

    No one likes a killjoy – stop complaining that you can’t find a date / don’t earn enough / what a douche your ex is / even your cat hates you. A dating profile is an advert. It’s about selling yourself as someone who is a stable, coherent, fun-to-be-around, loveable guy. Be smart, funny and tell us the good things about you.

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  • If you don’t think your dating “preferences” are racist, here’s a helpful explainer video for you

    You might not consider yourself racist, but if you’ve ever uttered something along lines “I’m just not into black guys” you might be suffering some structural racism.

    Just because we are a marginalised demographic, doesn’t mean we don’t also further marginalise other people within our own community.

    Let us explain… or in fact let Dylan Marron explain something to you.

    In a video posted on the MTV Decoded Facebook page, Marron spells out that perhaps your “preference” of not wanting to go out with an Asian/Black/Mixed race guy could be a product of structural racism – because, in the Western world, we’ve all been brought up to believe that white/blonde/blue-eyed/twink/hairless (etc etc etc) is the beauty standard.

    He explains,

    “We actually learn how to define what is attractive from those around us. And because we’re raised within a framework of Western beauty standards, society often characterises non-white features as ‘different’ or ‘unattractive.’”

    And if you’re wondering if why this happens, he explains,

    “This is where structural racism comes into play. Because preferences are actually shaped by learned values. When you’re judging a person based solely on their racial background, you’re acting on generalisations you’ve learned to associate with that person’s appearance or heritage. You can’t say it’s their personality because you shut them down before you even got to know them.”

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  • Google yanks gay dating app from Indonesia online store

    Google has pulled one of the world’s largest gay dating apps from the Indonesian version of its online store in response to government demands, Jakarta said Wednesday, amid a crackdown on the LGBT community. (more…)